it's time to get creative, and I'm feeling way too lazy to do so. the new york trip I've been planning can't be cancelled. it just can't. I've been trying to go for over a year. if the powers that be have led me into this painted corner, I beseech them to clue me in to the trapdoor. I've got to make it work. I want to stand on the subway platform with closed eyes, I want to finally kiss an old flame that never really went out, I want to walk across the brooklyn bridge with my chin up. I want new york to know that I'm halfway there to her, with one foot in the grave, two years after our second tryst.
it's funny, before I was always so anxious about all the things I had to do, and now I have anxiety about my complete lack of things to get done.
these days, I miss a lot of things. esoteric, maybe, but true.
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